Healing after Childhood and Birth Trauma

Where Did Acacia Woman Come From? My journey of self-discovery and love through Motherhood.

Acacia Woman was born out a place where there seemed to be nothing left.
Then a choice was made to plant a seed. That seed was nurtured by life and grew into a magnificent, strong Acacia Tree, with deep roots and high branches that sustain it allow it to flourish.
The tree is everything to everyone, a place of warmth, nourishment & protection.  The tree is a Woman, A Goddess.

The journey of Acacia Woman developed from London Mum. In 2011 I had my first son, after a traumatic birth experience I had undiagnosed PND and a childhood trauma had been triggered to the surface.
When I became pregnant a second time 20 months late, I knew I needed to get support, something was not working. I was not enjoying my life, my relationship or motherhood. I loved my son deeply but internally I was struggling, life didn't feel fun or enjoyable.

I self-referred and requested medium term CBT, as I knew a sh…

Getting Married After Children

After 9 years together, 2 children, a house purchase and watching all our friends get married, Scott & I got engaged in 2015 and married in 2016. We had a lovely year from Proposal to Honeymoon.

Having watched and spoken to many friends who had got married before having children, I could see that whilst some aspects to planning a wedding day where the same, getting married with children does have some particular aspects to consider. These are the main points I discovered:
Everyone Loves a Wedding
This didn't change when we got MAC (Married After Children), actually the support and enthusiasm from those around us carried us through that period and supported us in having a magical time throughout the whole period.
Whilst I had comments from others about when we would get married or why we weren't (and my own inner-critic at times) before we were married, no one mentioned the fact that we were having a wedding after having clearly been living together and created a family after o…

Do Something That Scares You

This week I had an audition. As a trained actress that in itself  doesn't sound like something too radical or scary but the context is that I have been out of the 'loop' for about 4 years and added to that this audition required me to Rap. Yes you heard it - RAP! 
Anyone that has met me would say I am about as far from being 'Street' (if that is still even the cool term) as a Country Lane! Needless to say the thought of walking into a room of people watching me and having to have 'Swagger' (had to Youtube that to know what it was) whilst speaking very fast, musically to a backing tune was enough to turn me into a Tena user. 
Interestingly though, I didn't respond to the email with a 'No' rather a funny thought entered my mind, it was the image of me dancing and singing in my living room to Rhianna and various other very cool artists. This idea that I could, maybe for that moment be something that I would not normally allow myself to be in public e…

3 Steps to Peaceful Truthful Relations

In the last couple of months I have made a commitment to myself and therefore to others as well, to relate better to those around me, particularly but not exclusively, in intimate relationships. This is an extension of my commitment to love myself and to create the life I want and dream of for myself. This in turn changes how others relate to me.

I realised that all communication can be broken down into these steps, the order and practice of each is essential in peaceful and honest communication and love:
1. To know what we want and what our needs are.  2. To be able to express these desires clearly, calmly and honestly.  3. To be able to listen to and have respect and compassion for the needs of others. 
Number one is not as easy as it seems, it requires a connection and a knowledge of ourselves that is honest and open, untainted by ego and reaction to others - which leads to conflict in all its forms.  How often do we think we know what we want but it's really a response to hurt, disa…

Learning to love what is...

Many years ago, I met special friend who I had known for many years, we were both actresses at similar stages in our careers and I was her agent for a while.
Although her life had also changed, I notice in me how something from the past, a longing, was triggered when I met her, an idea that I hadn't achieved something, my dreams had been unfulfilled and I had somehow failed.

When I stopped to check myself I realised my life was full and abundant and included all the things I had dreamed about. A loving partner, 2 beautiful children, a comfortable home and a work/life balance. My life offered me the opportunity to be fulfilled and peaceful but something in me challenged me from embracing that and experiencing its beauty to the full. 
What was missing was self love and a complete attention and love for what is in my life RIGHT NOW.
My life had been one in which I had never fully appreciated or enjoyed the present moment.  There was always a sense that the grass was greener on the other …